Episode 5 Clothes part 2 and a whole lot of happy, confident, self-love ideas

This is a ramble but a good ramble. 
I hope you take away some good things from it. 
Podcast list mentioned 
https://www.bustle.com/p/7-podcasts-to-listen-to-when-youre-sad-because-these-shows-will-cheer-you-right-up-16379324

My website:  www.chloegrahammindsetcoach.com
Instagram: @bechloebeyou

Transcript

This episode is a mishmash, but it also does have an overall theme. That's the only way I can describe it. But I think you'll like it.

I hope you'll get something out of it. Thank you for coming back. I am back. Welcome to another episode with me. I think we're up to number five now Holy moly. I don't know if you'll be able to hear a difference. But I've got this fancy foam shield behind the microphone to try and lessen the echo in my little podcasting journey that I'm taking you on.

But yes, we are here it is Friday morning in New Zealand. And no, it's not what I don't know what I'm talking about. It's Friday afternoon. Help me already. How are you? That is what I want to know. Are you having a good day? Are you excited that it's Friday? We excited about the plans you've got for the weekend? Have you planned some fun stuff for yourself? Beside is a key isn't it have to have fun stuff planned. Even if it's just a bath, in peace with a glass of wine, and no disturbances, it can be as little as that. But just whatever you whatever it is, I hope that you've got something that you're looking forward to. So what are we going to talk about today, I want to elaborate more on the clothes episode was That was number two, and then go further into that and some other connected ideas. And I'm not very good at doing these summaries. But yeah, I hope you get a lot out a lot out of it. I promise it will be a good thing. too, as always up your self love your confidence and your general just state of being. So in episode two, I talked about clothes, and just do not hate ourselves and bully ourselves into fitting into certain type of clothes, throw out the clothes that don't fit, they're just taunting you. Love the clothes that you've got, you know that you're meant to feel good. Just because you feel good doesn't mean that if you're heavier than you want to be that you're going to not be you're going to lose the drive to lose weight. It's bollocks it doesn't work like that. I'm sorry about my language. look good. As you are now, you'll start making better choices for yourself, because you're proud of how you look. And that is one of the reasons why our self love goes up all the good things. So today, I want to talk about our wardrobes. For the first thing, I want to talk about how tidy it is, I taken care of your clothes, because I think everything around us is an external representation of what we think of ourselves how much care we take of ourselves. So if your wardrobe is trashed, it's got too much jammed in there. Nothing's folded, nothing's taken care of nothing's ironed. Can you see how that might be connected to how you might be feeling in your mind. So this is my plea to you. Don't get overwhelmed by it. You don't have to do it all at once. But go and have a look in the wardrobe. Pull it all out. Actually, one of the best things that I got told to do by a stylist was hide from yourself, the summer water when you're in winter, because you can actually get fatigue from looking at it when you can't use it. And then when it comes to summer, you're so sick of seeing it that you go and buy new stuff. Whereas I've done it for the last two years, I think when it's so was autumn here now but it's still hot, but when I'm finished with my summer clothes, I will put them away even though I have enough space for all of them in my world. drove, I get those vacuum pack bags, and I hide them. And I vacuum backpack vacuum, pack them and put them on the top shelf, my wardrobe gives you more space for the other stuff. And you get an opening presence surprise when when it comes around next time around next year. So let's go through our wardrobes. Let's make sure we're looking after our clothes, I still haven't decided on whether we should iron everything first before we put it in the wardrobe. Because then if it's ironed, you're more likely to want to wear it like there are shirts in my wardrobe that I do not wear, because it requires ironing. But then they can never stay fully pressed. So hit me up on that what you two because I'm still deciding.

And shelves, my goodness, let's that's tidy them up. Because if we open it, and it looks like a mess, we're not going to feel excited to wear that stuff. We're going to want to spend money, because it looks cared for on the shelf in the shop. And it looks looked after. You can give that back to yourself for no money. Remember the day that you bought those clothes and how happy you were with them, hopefully gives them that back and give yourself back that pride. Because you know, when you get dressed up and you make an effort with what you wear, how much better do you feel, and you wear your favourite things, as opposed to wearing the everyday clothes that you know aren't great, but you feel comfortable in them. So you wear them anyway. And you think I'm not dressing up for anyone else. It's like, well hang on a minute, why don't you dress up for yourself. And the thing is, we can actually find clothes that are comfortable and look good, which is the best thing ever. So that's not good for ourselves, not just on dates, not just if we have to go to some fancy event. It will help your sense of self-worth self-esteem and your self-respect. Because you're showing up for yourself, you're showing up and making the best of the day. And you are worth getting dressed properly for. And then I guess from that I was thinking on this whole vein of like how can we make our home somewhere that reflects our mind. And I think Marie Kondo and her sort of effect doesn't spark joy get rid of it is you don't have to be as ruthless as that. But if we're not keeping our house clean and tidy, then we're not going to feel great in it. And the whole point is to feel safe, secure and grounded in your home. So if it's a mess, and it doesn't look nice, we're not going to enjoy being there. So I mean, I love looking out the window. So I'm always 100% Open the curtains as soon as I can and they will stay open until I have to shut them in the room that I'm sleeping in or something because I like having them shut when I sleep. But don't leave them shut all day, make your bed start cleaning it bit by bit so then it's easier to upkeep and I promise you you'll feel better coming home to a clean home. Oh my goodness. It's like one of the best feelings in the world. And if anyone pops by for a visit, you're not in an absolute panic because it's looking like a complete mess. One thing I'm not great on yet and I don't know if it's just because it's not me but I'm all big on trying to up all five senses in my home so that they're all activated site obviously with it being tidy and stuff like that. We can then add smell so some of my friends are really good at burning beautiful-smelling candles and stuff in the home. I'm not very great at that but it adds another cent cents to the experience at home. And then when you're at home you can really enjoy the space. So are you making it cosy do you need to have a look on Pinterest to find out how you can make it cosy. There's so much cool stuff for relatively cheap now you don't need a whole big budget to do it. But can I just say just for yourself love and confidence and joy this week? Let's make our homes Nice. Let's get the blankets or good like I love wood as opposed to glass for surfaces because it just feels warmer and nicer. Let's get it looking clean and tidy. Let's get some nice smells in there and then put music on. Like I rarely put music on at home. I have it in my headphones at but I rarely have it on a speaker. That's another story. But yeah, let's, let's just make home good. One other thing that I did last year, and it was the best thing ever, and like everything, it takes like two minutes to do what, not quite two minutes, but it takes way shorter time than you think it's going to take is, I want to be surrounded by things that remind me of the best things in life, including friends. So

go to the shop and get some cheap photo frames, go to in hit New Zealand, it's called warehouse station or station warehouse never matter which way round it is. But they will print off digital prints of your photos for nothing. It's so cheap. And then I tell you what, when I came home to my apartment, and I put all those pictures in frames, and I could sit on the sofa with my cup of tea and look around all my smiling friends smiling back at me. Oh my goodness, it's just, it's just life-changing. I know, it's the little things. It's like when you change your habit, you change it a little thing at a time, making these little changes in your home can make a world of difference, a world of difference. One other thing I was talking about with my client the other day is having a happy playlist. So when we have those days where we feel sad, like I'm a big believer in the fact that we should be able to feel all of the emotions of the spectrum. But we can just sit through them, we don't try and numb them out, get rid of them or react to them. But we can still witness all of them. So there is a time when we do need to be quiet, we might feel a bit sad. If something's happened, or hormones or anything like that. I'm not talking about nullifying anything. I'm talking about the times when we've got into a bad habit of behaviour that doesn't make us feel great, like sitting on the sofa all day and not moving, lying in bed all day and sleeping the day away. And also with that, you know, eating loads of bad food or drinking lots of alcohol and stuff, the top minds in the world with this stuff. If our homes tidy, clean. And we've got beautiful things around us like pictures of our friends or fairy lights and cosy blankets and stuff like that, you're going to feel better anyway. But sometimes we kind of need like a kick up the butt to get ourselves to move, because it's our body that will get us out of the funk. And I know the last thing that you want to do when you're feeling really down even though you know you need to break out of that is to stop moving. And Mel Rama Robbins has got to be the best coach for this when she came up with her idea that became a book and a movement called 54321. Go the five second habit was you're never going to think yourself to move. That's when all the excuses come in because our mind and body like staying depressed and bored and in the comfort zone. So we need to teach ourselves that we have control. And we want this change because we know it's going to make ourselves feel better. And you've just got to start moving. So if you want to go to the gym, just start putting on the gym clothes, you'll end up going. If you're sitting on the couch and you're like I promised myself I'd go for a walk today, but I can't be bothered. If you break that promise to yourself, you will learn to trust yourself less and less and less, you will look for external validation everywhere. And it'll become like a drug. So honouring ourselves by keeping the place tidy and clean. looking after ourselves by wearing nice things. And then when we're in a funk, listening to ourselves, keeping that promise. Feel like you're on a rocket ship 54321 and launch yourself like a rocket launches, launch yourself off the sofa, open the door, feel the breath of the wind breath air on your face, and you already start feeling better. And it's it's that simple. It's coming back to our body and coming out of our mind because when we get stuck in our mind, we lose touch with reality we lose touch with the present and we can get stuck there in this black hole of despair.

So have a listen to me Robin's podcast or she's on featured on loads of other people's ones, or she's got a couple of books that come out. And her other book, I'll talk about that, actually, while I'm here, because I think it's good to kind of share good tips and habits with each other. Her five second rule is amazing, and it can get you out of bed. Because when you're waiting to feel like something, you won't do it. But if you just start counting, you'll stop thinking because you can't do try now try and count down. And then try and think at the same time, it's impossible. But other habit is high fiving yourself in the mirror in the morning. And I love it. Because it's so simple, because you're going to feel silly to start with. But that's only because we're not used to high fiving yourself. We're not used to being kind and saying I'm proud of you. Like I say all the time, like I want my clients and I say to myself, I'm you start small, I'm proud of you for making the bed. I'm proud of you for having a glass of water before your coffee. I'm proud of you for having a shower today. If it's low, start small and don't expect too much from yourself. But her book goes on about how connecting with ourselves in front of the mirror. Looking at us in the eyes, I'm not talking about pulling apart your reflection. I'm talking about looking at yourself in the mirror, as if you are your best friend, and you're connecting to your soul, and you love each other. Place your hand on the glass. Yes, I know I've just told you to clean the house, no putting a handprint on the glass. But bear with me. That symbolic that handprint I don't care if it stays there. That's got to be one of the best things you can do. Because you'll probably smile when you see that handprint as well. Because you know where it's come from, you know, that was you this morning, standing up for yourself and saying, I've got your back. I'm proud of you. Anything that comes my way that today, I can handle it. Because I have the strength within myself to do it. You do that every day. And your belief and trust or skyrocket. Okay? Also what we can do, this is kind of like take what tips you want to do take what, what, what parts you want to try and put in this week. And then send me a message. Let me know what worked, what didn't work. To raise your self esteem and your happiness this week. Whether it's a happy, poor, happy playlist, tidy in your room or another one tight in the car. My cars clean on the outside, there's no rubbish in the car, but it definitely needs a vacuum. Oh my goodness, that's another one like, you know if I think it's got to be not that nice if you've got to suddenly impromptu give someone a lift somewhere in your cars a big mess. And it'll again, affect your confidence and stuff like that. So if you want a fun weekend job up, we're going to combine the two, happy playlist on clean the car this weekend. I'm going to promise you I'm going to do that this weekend as well. I'm moving stuff. So it's going to be a pain, but I'm going to Hoover vacuum my car this weekend and make it all nice. And the other one actually, I thought and I hadn't listened to yet. But if you're a podcasting person, which I'm sure you are if you're here, but there are lists available, and I'll link to one in the show notes of podcasts if you're feeling low, and they'll cheer you up. Because I think if we're down and we watch a sad movie that shows on the outside how we're feeling, which can be great, but then we get stuck there. So once you feel like you've done enough of honouring your feelings, and you feel like it's ready to break out, then happy playlist or happy podcasts that make you laugh out loud, have got to be a really good choice. And the last thing I'm going to mention today, because it's been a bit of a mishmash of happy confidence, self worth habits that seem really simple. But like Brendon Burchard says, common sense isn't common practice. So you might you know that a tidy house is better and a clean house is better and your wardrobe is better tidy, but I just want to sort of say how much it affects your mental health. And sometimes it's not just knowledge that someone can give you it's the feeling and the reminder and the confidence to go and do it. So

I'm lucky I've just moved in here. So my wardrobe is pretty darn tidy because I only reorganised the whole thing about three weeks ago, but there's still some stuff that I can Do and tidy and clean and make myself feel better. So set a goal a week. Let's start doing some stuff to make our own environment car house wardrobe. Better, better standard. And then also the last thing that I think is so important and ever on preachers on about, but again, we just don't do it. And that's gratitude. And it seems to be sort of, we don't do it at all, or we'll do it at the begin forget all day. And then sometimes remember late at night, I have to admit, I've slipped with my journaling a little bit like I journaled today a tiny bit. But I think because I'm creating so much anyway, I'm writing all day, every day, anyway, and creating podcasts and posts and blogs. I have got an outlet where I'm getting my thoughts on paper. But if you don't, and if you're not creating stuff that's related to your thoughts, Pa Someone, please tell me how I don't mute GarageBand. So

I can record this, but I can mute Facebook. Sorry, you can hear the ding bell of stuff coming through.

But yeah, let's let's fill ourselves with gratitude, and remind ourselves of this all day. That's what I'm going to do this week, I do it haphazardly. I want to make it a part of my daily practice. I want to just remember everything that I do have, just like I talked about it. I don't know if I've talked about it yet. Switching from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset where we go, I've got enough time I've got so much to do, or I'm good enough money or I've got nothing to wear. So all scarcity, and that just makes us shrink and feel small and powerless. Whereas even if you're running late, be kind to yourself and say I have an abundance of time or you you don't think you've got enough time. Stressing out will do nothing at all. So I have an abundance of time. I have an abundance of stuff to wear in my closet if it's looking pretty unorganised and abundance of friends abundance of love in my life, and then tie that to gratitude. Like what are you grateful for? So this morning, coffee machine broke after I made my boyfriend's coffee. So he got the coffee machine coffee. And then it wouldn't work for mine bit pissed off. But I thought look, I can be grumpy about my poor little coffee. Or I can say look, I'm sitting in bed, I haven't had to rush off to go flying. Or I have the beauty of being able to start my day in the speed that I want to. And I'm sitting here drinking coffee. Yes, it's not a coffee machine coffee, but it's still a hot coffee and I can still do everything else like hold my mug in my hand, look out the window on the bed. plan my day be happy about my day. Happy that I was going to talk to you guys today because Friday is podcasting day. So let's have a go at these things this week. Let's keep it really simple. Let's just do a week of tidying cleaning, organising. Because if you haven't done it for a while, it's going to look like a mountain but just start small chip away at it. And I'll be really curious to see how it affects your mood. Cleaning the car or anything like that doesn't make you smile at all. And if you make a happy playlist, please send it to me. You can message me on my website, Chloe Graham mindset coach on Instagram I'll link my handle that be Chloe bu AS MBe and wish me luck this weekend because I'm doing the rest of the move in the car. And then now I've promised you guys a vacuum my car. So my car afterwards. So I hope you'll have a really good weekend. I hope you're happy with the weekend. I hope you can feel good about yourself this weekend. And organise or clean something and make yourself smile. But until I talk to you again next week. Regardless of how much you get done this week, just keep one promise. Say to yourself, I'm proud of you. I'm already proud of you. And let's rock it. Bye my love's

Transcribed by https://otter.ai