Episode 3 My story part 1, I'm a commercial airline pilot (secretly)

I'm a mindset and life coach. This is my life now, but I also have a pretty interesting backstory.  Here is part one.  Why a commercial airline pilot is now a mindset coach.  

Further info and ways to work with me on my website

www.chloegrahammindsetcoach.com

Thank you soooo much for listening to my third EVER podcast episode.  I would love a review.  Or a share with someone you love who could enjoy it.

Remember,

I'm proud of you babe xx 

Transcript

Chloe
Hey, it's me again, episode three. And why on earth I'm here when I am a commercial airline pilot, and I have been for 18 years. So I know and I don't want to talk about planes I am not going to talk about planes and I have and never will be or never have been a plane spotter.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to episode three with me, Chloe, self love, mindset. Money magic, although we haven't touched on money yet that is to come. But I wanted to include episode it's going to be a big part of my podcast. So here I am talking still only on episode three, it's still only a yoloing the hell out of this. But again, I'm talking to you, my lovely who you are listening right now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here. It means the absolute world, I've got a smile on my face. So I just want to give a bit of context, but also for myself and how I'm going to remember this, but I've just moved in with my boyfriend maybe six weeks ago, and we haven't quite moved finished moving all my stuff over yet. So I have my study and I'm sitting on the floor, I'm gonna have to post a picture of this on Instagram. Basically, I've got my study, I've got my clothes in the wardrobe. I've got my notice boards and whiteboards up and no desk. So I'm sitting on floor, have my mic in front of me, my laptop and my phone. Hopefully everything's on so learned. But yeah, it's just me and playing around like episode one. We had cicadas in the background, which wasn't great. So I shut the windows and the door for episode number two. Number two, it still sounded kind of echoey. So number three, I've got this cute little foam thing on the microphone that's meant to help me. And also I've got my sheepskin rugs out of the cupboard that I kept for winter. And I used to have all my dining chairs and looked at Oh, so chic. Drag the duvet cover from our bedroom, and I've just kind of made a little thought on the floor. It's meant to stop the bouncing. But yeah, I don't know how well that's doing but I'm just gonna I'm enjoying playing around with it. So bear with me, it's going to get less echoey it's gonna sound better each episode, hopefully. But anyway, back to today. Today, I kind of wanted to talk about a bit why I'm here. I'm not going to give you a full-blown bloody autobiography because we're here for be here forever. And I do not want to do that. So basically, I just want to touch on the fact of why me? Why mindset coach now? And then also why the hell am I here when I decided at 16 Or maybe no 14 that I was going to become a commercial airline pilot. And now I'm 38 and I've been flying commercially for 18 years oh my god, I sound so old. And then why also why I want to kind of phase that out. And why my the stuff that makes you smile, get excited. I jump up and down like a three year old when I talk about this stuff I just freakin love. It is like helping women mindset coaching, self development for me as well. So I guess what I'll do is I'll start off when I hit rock bottom, because that's generally when everything changes for people. We can't try and save them because we have to kind of let them hit if we keep cushioning their bottom. They're never going to have the rebound up to the bottom. So my my bottom happened when I was 29 and I was sitting in my house in Southampton, England. I think it must have been winter and it was cold. And I was sitting in front of another two-pound tin of soup. Looking at my laptop. This was my god help. This was 2012 So 10 years ago social media so everything was baby Instagram, Facebook tiktok didn't exist. I wasn't into Snapchat. Twitter was around but nowhere near what it is now so and Netflix wasn't there. Oh my god. So it was just DVDs on DVDs on DVDs that I used to watch and I buy the boxes. My favourite boxset was sex and city back in the day. I remember watching the last episode actually in uni and we're all sitting around crying. Anyway, side note, Chloe focus. So

I was sitting there with that bloody tin soup in front of me, because I'd obviously had a sugar binge again the day before. So I was trying to, quote, undo the damage. And I was lonely. I was just sitting there, I had no friends have Hampton, and I pushed all my other friends away. And then on my days off, I would go to my mom's who was about an hour ago, yell at her, she cooked gorgeous food for me. So it was the only time I was eating properly, feel bad for yelling at her not know why I was yelling at her. And I couldn't be nice to her. And then pattern repeat. And I think that's also one of the worst places that we get when we get stuck in a cycle and a pattern that we just hate. And we try to get out of it. We try to break the cycle on the pattern, but we don't know how. And we try and do it ourselves. And I was one stubborn woman. Like really, really, really stubborn. Oh my god, I had a permanent frown. And yeah, not approachable, not nice. But anyway, so sat there was like, I think it just, you get that sinking feeling. You're like, life cannot go on like this. I can't keep bingeing and throwing up and sitting in this room by myself hiding from the world hiding from people. This is not life. Although I had no idea what life could be, like I just looked at everyone else was jealous, but I just knew it couldn't go on like this. And, you know, I think in people's worst moments, we kind of, we look back and I look back on myself and go, How on earth did I have the courage to do that? And anyone's worst moment? How do they have the courage to do that, but honestly, when you're there, and I'm sure you've been there or like them, I actually think that the most beautiful moments as well, because that's the beginning of the end. That's your bottom peak where you shoot up again, it's not, it's not all the way up, obviously, it's going to be up and down, up and down. But it's the bottom. And there was no one I could call I shut everyone out. vulnerability was something holy cow. I didn't really know that word, but it was not something I was prepared to do. My mom, I didn't feel like she had the answers. My sister stopped talking to me. So bless my little 29 year old Chloe, she was all alone. And I rang the one person that I was actually the most jealous of. And that was a family friend who was also a daughter of pilot who'd become a pilot. I'm just one of those people that love me. Luckily, I was I'm good at flying. Like I'm not amazing, because I don't study as much as some of the top guys do. But I'm I can be good. I am good. I'm just not excellent. If you know what I mean. I have the skill for the right mind and the right hand eye coordination and all that good stuff. And I Yeah, my dad was a pilot. My granddad was a pilot. My uncle was a pilot and lots of pilots that kids become pilots. So he was me, overweight, unhappy, miserable, no friends, and I  would watch Katie in the early stages of Facebook, do the most incredible thing she did for ski seasons in the States. Just got what she would ski with, like the Canadian ski team, and she was skinny and she looked like she was having the time of her life. And then she went through flight school, maybe three or four years after me. And I failed at getting into British Airways and thought my life was over. And then she goes and gets into British Airways. And what eventually she's EasyJet first and then British Airways, but oh my god, she had every it looked like she had everything that I wanted. Friend's Boyfriend skinny figure. better job than me. Full of life, happiness, ease, it seemed. Oh, and I don't know how I did it. But I write I picked up the phone and I rang her.

And I said, Katie, I don't want to load your plate with this. But I need help. I can't go on like this. And after barely speaking, the woman that she is, and she's now one of my best friends today, even though we live 13,000 miles apart. But she said here read this book. And in hindsight, I don't think it mattered what book it was. It was just a book that made you believe that something else was there made you believe that another life was possible and that I have the power to change my life. Because I'd been living all these years waiting for the external world to change for me. Like, it had to change me rather than I am in control. I'm the one who changed my life. It turned about a turn out to be the book The Secret. And I used to hate Wu staff hate yoga, hate magic, hate what like, you know, anything magical. That's sort of spiritual or religion or dreamers? Yeah, anything, I just push it away. But again, I was at rock bottom. So I thought, I will read this book. And I read it. And it talks about doing a little test to see that we can control the world around us. And I was at my mom's house, and I finished it. And I had an hour long drive back down to Southampton. And I read it quickly because I'm a reader and I used to read novels like anyone out there read Vince Flynn's books and Lee Child and Jack Reacher, all that stuff. My God have read them all. Anything secret agent? Like, yes, I'm there. But yeah, I read this book. And I was like, right, I'll do a test. If I'm going to change my life, if anything is gonna change. If I'm going to believe in this. I'll give it this one chance. Why I give that one chance when I gave crash diets 12 years of chances. That's yeah, I probably need to think about. That's what I was. So I drove home. And basically, outside my apartment in Southampton. There were never any car parking spaces, never any. And I was used to get really mad and angry and have to walk all over all who was good for me. I never wanted to walk and blah, blah, blah. So I spent the entire trip down there going. There will be a car parking space for me. This world of hope, and creating and optimism and life and the power and everything I was like, if I can conjure up a car parking space, then I'll give this stuff a try, then I will just go whole hog. Yes, I can do this. So I spent the whole drive for an hour thinking about nothing else. I was like, I knew you had to do it in the positive. Not that I hope there isn't hope there is or there better not be you know, like, you can't say the negative. So I knew that I had to do in the positive. And I spent the whole hour long drive. Imagining a parking space I got down there. I turned the corner, I turned into the car park and there was a car parking space. My heart dropped. And I was just like, it was about birth from my left or in my mind ellipse anymore in my mind. Next split rant of theirs never fucking works. Excuse my language. Wow. And then literally as it was about to start in my mind, a reverse light came on in the car. Now again, it doesn't have to be the law of attraction. It didn't have to be the secret. But it that reverse light on lit a candle for me in that world of change, hope, excitement. Maybe stuff can change, just that reverse light. So because when you start this stuff, you're not really conscious of yourself, you haven't got a connection. You haven't got a connection to your mind. You don't know how to be your best friend. You don't have to read your thoughts, change them or anything but the the seed was planted, The change started to happen. And as I was growing up, I don't know if any of you like that this but I was a runner. Like,


I would run away from conflict. I'd run and hide like, because my parents divorced when I was 21. I would go from house to house like if I had an argument with my mom. I would go to my dad's house. If I had an argument with my dad, I'd go to my mom's house and and quite often this could happen once a week. It was not it was not good. I always made sure all of my belongings could fit into a car. So that at any point I could just load up a car and go any rental houses. I only stayed in one every I think I changed every six months. So I counted like 18 homes that I'd been in and like 12 years was a little bit longer when I was at uni so you running at always seemed safe and escape and change. And while I was new to change, and I realised that I wanted to make a big change, the first thing that I thought of was my family here in New Zealand, my uncle had always been my biggest cheerleader who I listened to and accepted His love and attention and support. So there is no way further to run away to. And my family happened to live there, like my mom was born in New Zealand. But yeah, there was no weather there. But it was also perfect because I loved my uncle, and my aunt and my cousins here. So I think I rang Katie in February. And once I decided to do something, I do it, I go, like full on no stopping me. I think that's going to be until I'm like, 90, I'll still be doing the same thing. So watch out for me, isn't it? But yeah, so I had a very good level of experience for the airlines in New Zealand, but not for the airlines in England, because they're just so many more of them. So it was really tough to try and change airlines in the UK. So here we go. I think he, I think it less than a month later, March, I must have been on a flight to New Zealand to do an interview. So I popped the application and they said, When can you come out I swapped leaves bit, leave with another pilot, bless his soul. So I managed to study like a maniac learn all about the airline in the country and everything else because I've only ever been on short visits. And I flew out with nine days off, I flew to New Zealand. So that takes a day and a half. I saw my uncle and aunt and tried to get over a little bit of jetlag for 36 hours, 48 flew down to Christchurch did the interview, and did a simulator check. When I was jet lagged as hell. Upside down, oh, my gosh, flew back to Auckland, flew back to England hours at work on the Monday. That's That's how hard I pushed when I want something. I got the job. And then I was a bit short on hours. So I begged and pleaded swap shifts. And I got the most hours. And I think a lot of out of you know, I begged for the longer shifts. And then I handed in my notice. And first of July 2013, I left England and landed third of July. In New Zealand. I could work hard I could explore the country. And everything was great, like really good. To to a point, you know, level of self development where you haven't really done much I've just changed the location. And then I met someone long term relationship. Just about sort of get mortgage approved and he left me. And that's the way the next big jump goes. Because I'd always this is I'll do this separately in another podcast. But I'd felt like going to therapy, being kind to people. life coaches irony, were a complete waste of time. And like What even are they? Because they're not even qualified therapists. Oh, little did I know. But yeah, I went to a therapist. I was like, help me get over my boyfriend. And I thought it'd be three sessions. And I'd be on my way. I think everyone who goes to therapy thinks that they're going to be there three sessions. And then I think it was session two. So she read me and understand me, it's understood me better than anyone in my life. And if this ever happened for you,

just the fact that she only ever she only spent an hour with me and this was the second hour, the piece that they can give you because they can kind of show you that you're okay. There's nothing wrong with you because you've been bashing yourself and beating yourself up and bullying yourself up probably for Well, I was decades. So we work together and Chantal Hofstede, you're amazing. She was this incredibly beautiful Dutch lady who now lives in New Zealand. And wow. Wow, wow. Wow. So I worked with her quite intensively at the beginning because again, when I feel like something I go For and she changed my life. And I started relaxing, I would become more myself like silly young Chloe, not serious, Chloe, because I felt like in order to be liked or taken seriously at work, I had to be serious. So yeah, I, I started, I started being easier on myself. And I started being less stressed, and I started that's the only way I can describe it. I just started being easier on myself. And then she set me up for an incredible sort of boost in self worth, self love, less stressed, less bad eating over drinking. Actually, do you know what I'm going to leave this episode here because we're on 20 minutes at the moment. And I do not want to go on I want to keep the episodes for short to start with. So what I'm going to do is I'm actually going to end it there. So we've taken me up to, I will promise why I'm now a life coach, mindset coach. But this is just chapter one. And I'll do another one next week on how I am a mindset coach. Now, how I got from where are we up to now? I was six years, six years ago was when I was working with Chantal. So we've got six years left to bring us up to present and I will do that in the next episode. But for now, I'm beautiful, beautiful people. And again, I'm talking to you directly to us. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for listening. I'm sending you all my love and appreciation for being here. This will be continued Next week. But for now, just give yourself one big massive hug. Do what I always do, put your hands on your heart. Take a big deep breath and say to yourself, I'm proud of you bait I'll talk to you next week. Bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai